I'm feeling really pants today. Have been all week actually which is probably a contributing factor in my lack of entries. I over-did it early in the week, gay clubbing, cleaning and painting, shopping, walking and generally being busy. I say this and it sounds like something relatively normal, especially for me, miss busy bee, but let me tell you in more detail...
On Monday, as I was kitten free for the first time on a weekday in ages, and as I love a good gay night out which is far too much of a rarity these days, the wife and I decided to have an impromptu gay sesh. Sounds a little bit like it has the potential to be at least a bit wild right? Well, and don't get me wrong, I had an amazing night but, it was NOT wild. Fun indeed, but nicely relaxed. The wife and I had 2 vodkas in the house, and our idea of a small vodka is usually half and half coke to vodka, but these were only equivalent to a pub double. How civilised of us. We then did our usual trick of heading into town about 10.30/11pm, forgetting that on a Monday everywhere closes early, which was fine, we just had another quick one then hit a gay bar. We weren't really dressed up, but had made an effort, and this seemed fine, I was in shorts/tights combo with loose top, wife in midriff bareing cartoon tee and skinnies, hair good but 'undone', make up smudgey... but I still felt old because of the bloody music! I only knew the more recent tunes because of my 10 year old daughter! Gaaaahhhh!!! It's begun, the decline has begun, I already prefer Radio 2 sometimes now. God help me. Anyway, eventually there were some fantastic hip hop/R n B/funk/soul tunes that we knew, a bit of old skoool and some Rihanna stuff that we recognised, and we danced our arses off for about half an hour, and then they bloody closed! Poo heads. We did score some free drinks though, and the wife got eyed up by a (possiby underage) hot blonde. After an interminable walk home I collapsed into my bed and slept more soundly than I have in ages.
The next day was the day I 'over-did' it. This is what I did: Cleaned my house for about an hour. Rested. Popped round the wifes. Rested. Walked to town with the wife, one shop, taxi home as I was knackered. Rested. Cleaned wifes kitchen for an hour or so. Rested. Helped wife paint kitchen for an hour or so. Rested. Then the wife told me she thought I'd probably done too much so she made me my tea and then sent me home to bed.
On Wednesday I woke up in crippling agony and could barely walk, so hobbled around my house awaiting my little niece for a sleepover and the return of the kittens (yay!) It took me an hour and a half to do the 20 minute trip to the shops later that day, my little niece laughing at me the whole time for being so slow! By Thursday morning I could barely move, and the walk to town to drop my niece off led to a drop in at the docs on my way home. After being poked and prodded, questioned, queried, and admonished for 'overdoing' it and not 'resting' enough I was prescribed painkillers and 'plenty of rest with periods of controlled activity'. I'm F***ING SICK OF RESTING! Since then I have done as little as possible and have felt for most of today like the worlds worst mother. My poor children not only have to put up with all this, but they are bored, under stimulated and in need of something to do that doesn't involve me using them as a walking stick or crushing their hand in pain while I walk. This evening I'd had enough and burst into tears. Poor things didn't know what to do so just cuddled me, while I sobbed and apologised for being ill so much and so bloody useless. This, I realise, makes me even worse... Then I pulled myself together and - painfully - made a hug vat of bolognaise, while my adorable and wonderful kittens tidied the living room. Then we all cleaned the kitchen together, like a little production line, while the tea cooked. Bless 'em, I know they don't mind, (or try not to), but I can't bear this. How long will I be like this? I'm so F***ING sick of being ill, and feel completely useless. I can barely look after myself when I'm this ill, my poor kittens are suffering and slowly wasting away from boredom. How will I ever get back to college? Keep my house clean? See any of my friends ever again?!
Sorry to blather on so. But this is my diary so I'm allowed. Any sympathy will be greatly appreciated, and offers of buying me a dishwasher even more so...
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