Good Day.

My health has been a little bit hit and miss lately, my energy levels have taken a nose dive, sleep patters disturbed and lots of niggling pains, lack of concentration etc. However, today I am happy for these reasons:

I am listening to my favourite Deftones album; I have a big cup of Earl Grey; I have new leopard print slippers; I am about to go volunteer in Kittens school shortly for the first time in weeks as my Labyrinthitis has subsided; and finally, a copy/paste of my Facebook status update -

Ok, so I'm not massively political (like I used to think I was in my youth), but I do have vague ideas and opinions which usually I refrain from airing on here as it invites debate and occasionally incites a verbal dispute and/or controversy which frankly I can't be arsed with. However, I do just wana say that I'm pleased Obama was re-elected. I understand it is widely believed that the Presidents, Prime Ministers and such, in this political climate, are little more than puppets, and that often it's a choice of 'The lesser of two evils'. Even if this is true, less evil is better than more evil, surely, if they are the primary options. Even if these people are simply a titular head, it is preferable to have a figure head - who will be influential to and inspiring for millions of people - who at least seems sane and has some basic sound morals. (Not saying I agree with all of his principles mind.) And let's not forget the rednecks and racists and the bible belt who largely voted against a man based on the fact that he's black, rather than any belief or sensibly firmed political opinion. Just sayin'. :)

So, short as this entry may be, now you know. I'm having a good day. Over and out.

Avoid During Mealtimes.

Apparently, men can take more pain than women... Well, there's news eh?! Erm, there is a very good reason that terms such as 'man flu' exist. Boys, have you ever had a metal Easter Egg with teeth and handles shoved up your bum? For most of you, I would say the answer is probably no. (Excluding the perverts and masochists., many of whom I know.) Unfortunately ladies regularly endure this, and similar, in their nether regions. 'May I just scrape the walls of your vagina dear?', 'Push a little harder sweety, I can see a head poking from your private parts', 'Ankles together, knees apart', 'Oops, sorry, wrong hole...' All terms us girls are familiar with, some more welcome than others. We cheerfully smile and carry on whilst putting up with undignified and often uncomfortable experiences, partly because some of them are a means to an end.
     Take childbirth for example. After 9 or 10 months (TEN months if you count the weeks!) of growing another human being inside our already compact little bodies, having all the good stuff sapped from us, our internal organs squished into unnatural disorder, having acid spewing forth from gut to nostril fairly regularly, breasts and stomach swollen to the point of tearing, and hips being softened and then pulled apart in readiness... THEN we are expected to force out the little human responsible for the destruction of our bodies. Through our vaginas. Tearing, aching, pulsing, messy, bloody and indeed blood curdling as this experience can be (not mine, mine were pretty easy as it goes. Sorry.) We continue this mission to procreate under the foolish assumption that we will be rewarded with a cooing ball of fluff and love. Ah, but we are nonsensical creatures. My most memorable line from labour, whilst sat on a toilet a mere hour or two from delivering my eldest, was a shrieked 'I AM LEAKING FROM EVERY ORRIFICE!!!' I repeated this days later when things got worse as my breast milk 'came in'. I sat, prone, naked but for a towel, on a disposable changing mat, literally leaking from every orrifice as I sobbed and snotted and vomited and bled and ached and leaked some more. Why does nobody warn you of all this?! I am warning all you innocent simpletons right now, child birth is indelicate, undignified, and pretty grim. Worth it, undoubtedly, and I certainly had a relatively easy time of it, but none the less, take heed. It is gruesome. 
     Then there is the delight that is having a smear test. 'Ankles together, knees apart' could strike fear into the heart of many a great and strong woman. Imagine, if you will, being propped up half naked (how flattering) with legs akimbo and genitals on display, whilst a nurse/doctor/both (and invariably a room full of student observers) poke instruments into you and swirl 'em around. What could possibly be more fun?
      I only mention this because one friend had to endure something similar this morning and I'm off to visit another friend with her new baby later, then on the telly some fool dared say 'Men can take more pain than women'. Pah! I dare any man to put rubber rollers in his hair. Or give birth. Or wax his bikini line. Or look after two children (one being a pre-teen) whilst full of flu, clean the house, cook a reasonable meal, and simultaneously cheer up 3 friends who are having a hard time (via facebook, face to face, and over the phone,) with a cat underfoot and the threat of rain while your washing is out, while you have your period.
     Sorry, I'm honestly not a sexist. I love men. I just resent the implication that they handle pain better, when clearly often the opposite is true.

Think I'm hormonal...