My kittens are at their Dads till midweek as it's half term. What is this curious thing about parents, when your children are with you all you desire is is peace and quiet, but when they're not with you all you want is the noise and chaos of the children?!
I have mixed emotions about them seeing their dads. I feel grateful, particularly for their sakes, that their dads take an interest. I also feel lucky that this is a regular thing, I have lots of friends and acqauaintances whos' children do not have contact, frequent or otherwise, with their fathers, and this is not only detrimental to the children involved but leaves the mums with no time to themselves. I hear friends complain that they're desperate for a babysitter/night out/day to themselves/an hour for a cup of tea in peace (!) and I feel ashamed. Because the truth is I resent having to share them! Ha!
Now, when they are with their dads for a few extra days on school holidays I want them back home with me, but simultaneously I know it's what's best. Thing is, not only do I strongly believe that fathers have a right to see their children, but more importantly I believe the children have a right to see their fathers. Obviously. I pity the men who have been denied contact - unless it was necessary/deserved for reasons benefitting the children, not for reasons of bitterness or spite - but I still resent having to share my own children with their fathers. Oh what a complicated and contradictory woman I am, but as I always say, there is a big difference between what you think and what you feel, and making the two correspond can be HARD.
I KNOW that my children seeing daddy regularly is not only a positive thing but also the right thing, but I FEEL as though they should be with me, always. I'm a wrong 'un.
They see their dads 3 weekends out of 4, which is a pretty good balance, but let me tell you, the fact that I get all these weekends to myself to do as I please, does not mean I do not live for the weekends I have them with me, 'Kitten Weekends'.
Next weekend is just such a weekend, and also a year since my man and I got together, so we are going to celebrate with a weekend of visiting old friends, art galleries and ice-skating. And I can't bloody wait! Till then, I hope my kittens are having fun, but equally I hope they're missing me just as much as I miss them!
I absolutely agree and understand your point of view. I have similar contradictory feelings every other weekend and holidays when my daughter goes to her dads. It has not been an easy ride, but touch wood everything has worked out best for my little girl. Whom, I believe should always be with me and I hope, whilst having fun, she is missing me, too! Billie-Jo x
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