Obviously.

Do you want to hear a dead funny story? Honestly, it's hilarious. I am genuinely mortified with myself, so will publicly shame myself for your amusement...

You know that girl who stalks people online, being all bothersome and a teeny bit scary. This girl is insecure, neurotic, ceaseless, insistent, and potentially unhinged. She makes you wana run and hide behind your mothers legs, or go to the pub (in some distant unknown town) and get so pissed you forget you're alive, with your phone off and your laptop wrapped in bags, blankets, and a suitcase, in the attic. With email notifications turned off.

I have become that girl. I shit you not.

I just spent an hour on the phone to my friend talking about her robot class - she is an electrical engineer - and normal life mostly, but we did venture onto the topic of my recent crazy. She wants me to shoot myself. I insisted she come do it for me ASAP 'cos I don't have any weapons in the house. (And knowing her, she probably has something illegal or at least potentially very dangerous stashed under her bed. Or even just on the kitchen table.)
Anyway, I digress. Allow me to tell you a tale, but please bear in mind that this is not my usual pattern of behaviour. I am aware that this is like when you say to somebody that you're worried about their drink problem, then no matter what they say about their drink problem or lack thereof they will sound like they have a drink problem. No matter how much I now insist that I am not a crazy internet stalker girl I will sound like a crazy internet stalker girl. Just the fact that I am writing this, insisting that I am not usually a crazy internet stalker girl makes me sound like that is exactly what I am. 

So, for a week or so I had been consistently chatting to this guy online. Let us call him 'Bob'. Bob is smart, fun, hilarious, chatty, sweet, seemed normal enough, and pretty cute. All good. And we got on so well... So obviously I ruined this potential romance or whatever, almost immediately, without even meeting the guy. Makes sense right? Here is the jist: We're getting along splendidly, then Thursday night I decide to type his name into Facebook (as you do.) A profile pops up and immediately obvious on his friends box, before you even click on a friends list or anything, is a picture of a girl with what appears to be Bob. Ok, I think, that's interesting, just click... on... the... FATAL mistake. My mind was screaming 'DON'T DO IT KAT. STEP AWAY FROM THE LAPTOP, TAKE YOUR FINGER OFF THE BUTTON. DO NOT CLICK ON THE GIRLS PROFILE!' And yet of course I do. Now, I know this guy to be fairly recently single. So this girl has him on her profile pic, maybe she still loves him, maybe she just hasn't changed her profile pic, maybe they're still best friends, I don't know.
So the next morning, after a sleepless night of being poorly, worrying about my dear old Ma, sitting up with my kittens at least 5 times as they were both nervous wrecks for various reasons, and generally being dead on my feet and emotionally drained and agitated, obviously I decided it was sensible to message him and tell him of my findings. ARGH! WTF is wrong with me?!
Now, with hindsight, the message does not read as I intended it to. I wanted to admit to my 'Facebook Investigation' and clarify that I didn't want to step on any toes, cause, or be involved in, any drama. But obviously I made it sound like I was accusing him of being a lieing cheat. (God, he could be, who knows really. We find these things out after the event. For now I was trying to work out whether it was worth continuing this flirtation without potentially becoming a home wrecker.)
He was actually quite hurt and disappointed, obviously, and I was annoyed at myself for my poor communication skills and such.
This is all pretty upsetting and horrible. Bad enough that I have Facebook stalked him, then admitted to it, then freaked the poor guy right out, I now continue my crazed mission by sending him another message trying to clarify my original point. He does not read the messages (I know 'cos they say 'D' for 'delivered' and 'R' for 'read'. These only said 'D'. Clever me.) So I send him a message on the dating site we had 'met' on, saying 'Please check your inbox, I sent you a big long message'!!!! ARGH. I need help. But it doesn't stop here... oh no.
Last night, evening time, tired and upset I f*cking email him saying 'please check your messages on those other 2 things, I wanted to explain. This is a summary of my message trying to explain...'
SHOOT ME NOW.
OBVIOUSLY at this point I know I am turning into crazy internet stalker girl. So I go spend the evening with the girls and explain my crazy stalker girl shenanigans. They berate me and tell me to let it drop. I intend to. Then at silly o'clock this morning he replies with a succinct message about how this had made him feel, which was not good basically.
So at 4am, after one and a half bottles of wine and 2 whiskeys, I bloody well emailed him back! OBVIOUSLY.
Not happy with freaking him out and scaring him off I then tell him I really like him, and just to read his emails and listen to my explanation.

Haven't heard back like.